September 22, 2023

Throughout my whole profession of being a divorce attorney, I’ve seen quite a bit in the case of my purchasers. I’ve seen emotion that breaks my coronary heart, sort gestures between events that’s inspiring, and sure, even love and friendship between a pair getting divorced. That stated, I’ve additionally seen purchasers and opposing purchasers at their most vicious, their most naïve, and their most weak. In some circumstances, large divorce errors can occur when purchasers let their feelings affect necessary selections—consciously or unconsciously.

Listed below are Ten of the Largest Divorce Errors I’ve Seen by my Shoppers:

1. Discussing Settlement Phrases with Your Partner:

By no means talk about any settlement phrases together with your partner throughout your divorce continuing and particularly throughout settlement negotiations. It is a big mistake as a result of letting your partner know what phrases of the settlement are most necessary to you or what you’d be keen to accept, offers away any leverage you could have had. Your partner will definitely share this data with their legal professional inserting you at a right away drawback. It’s best to solely talk about settlement phrases together with your legal professional who can develop the correct technique to make sure your case settles primarily based on the phrases which can be most necessary to you.

2. Not Disclosing Your True Earnings or Hiding Belongings:

In each divorce case within the State of Illinois, each spouses might be required to fill out a “Monetary Affidavit”, which is a doc that exhibits your revenue, your bills, your property and your money owed, and which you might be swearing underneath oath is true and proper. In the event you try to cover any of your revenue apart out of your employment, resembling extra rental revenue you might be receiving or revenue from on-line gross sales you’re making, you might be mendacity underneath oath and can most certainly be caught.

In case you have any funding or banking accounts that your partner doesn’t learn about and that you just purposefully fail to reveal, you may additionally be caught. In 2020, there’s a paper path for nearly all monetary transactions, and in case your Partner’s legal professional investigates your revenue or property, resembling by sending subpoenas to any monetary establishment they want, you’ll face sanctions in court docket. Your legal professional may also possible withdraw out of your case as they can’t characterize you in case you are not being truthful.


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3. Frivolously Calling the Police for Non-Emergencies:

Many individuals find yourself feeling offended, annoyed and damage by their partner in a divorce continuing and it may be tough to see issues clearly by way of a relaxed, rational and logical perspective, particularly when minor kids are concerned. Absent an emergency, if you find yourself calling the police in your partner resulting from your perception that your partner will not be following a court docket order, is infringing in your parenting time, or is doing one thing you don’t approve of, it will solely trigger hurt to your character and to your case in Courtroom.

Judges don’t like listening to about both partner frivolously calling the police for a non-emergency within the warmth of the second. As a substitute of creating one of many largest divorce errors, it’s essential to take a deep breath and instantly contact your legal professional to debate the problem and see what your choices are. In case your partner is violating a court docket order then your legal professional will deal with the problem in court docket. In case your partner is infringing in your parenting time then your legal professional can make sure you obtain make-up parenting time. At all times contact your legal professional first.

4. Not Complying with Courtroom Orders:

One other one of many largest divorce errors: If a Decide has issued a court docket order that you just really feel is unfair or that you’re sad about, you continue to should adjust to it! Most court docket orders entered throughout a divorce continuing previous to trial or settlement are short-term orders. In case you are sad a couple of court docket order, it’s essential to discuss to your legal professional concerning the concern to strategize on what could be finished to alter the court docket order.

By purposefully not following a court docket order, you could be held in contempt of court docket and be sanctioned and fined. Not following court docket orders solely offers your partner with additional leverage and harms your character in entrance of the Decide. In the event you purposefully don’t adjust to a monetary court docket order, your partner can search to not solely have you ever held in contempt of court docket, but in addition have a physique attachment (civil court docket warrant) issued on your arrest and you may face jail time till the monetary order is complied with. At all times converse to your legal professional about your case technique as orders are sometimes short-term and could be modified.

5. Misunderstanding What You Imagine is “Honest” verse the Courtroom’s Procedures and Rulings:

The Courtroom system will not be all the time perceived as “truthful” to every particular person. A part of your legal professional’s job is to handle your expectations and clarify all doable outcomes previous to going into court docket. Nevertheless, some individuals can nonetheless be very shocked by the outcomes in Courtroom. In case your divorce continuing has minor kids concerned, the Courtroom will all the time take a look at what’s in the perfect pursuits of your minor kids first, earlier than contemplating what could also be in both partner’s finest curiosity.


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In the event you really feel that your legal professional will not be managing your expectations or offering ample data to you so you possibly can perceive the Courtroom’s procedures and rulings, then it’s best to take into account hiring a special legal professional. At any level in your divorce case, you possibly can rent a brand new legal professional who will substitute into the case with out shedding any progress and with none extra charges.

6. Discussing Settlement Phrases Previous to Submitting for Divorce:

In the event you or your partner are involved in submitting for divorce, it is vitally possible that you’ve got spoken to your partner about your needs and intentions. Whereas many consumers want to preserve an amicable divorce continuing, you shouldn’t talk about settlement phrases of your divorce together with your partner with an excessive amount of element.

You do not need to supply your partner with data their legal professional can use towards you in a divorce continuing to present your partner a bonus over you. In case you are unsure about how your divorce case could also be dealt with in court docket, what you might be entitled to or what you might be accountable for, it’s best to contact an skilled household regulation legal professional who can go over your whole marital property and give you peace of thoughts by discussing your choices with you earlier than the divorce continuing begins.

7. Letting Your Feelings Get the Better of You:

Relying on the circumstances surrounding how your marriage ended or relying on how your partner is treating you throughout your divorce continuing, it’s regular to really feel frustration, anger, or despair throughout a divorce continuing. When you shouldn’t be arduous on your self in case you are experiencing these feelings, as getting a divorce could be one of the vital annoying experiences in an individual’s life, you shouldn’t let these feelings get the perfect of you when making selections about your divorce continuing or settlement.

For instance, some purchasers can find yourself preventing for property they don’t really need or usually are not of their monetary finest curiosity within the long-term, to spite their partner. You might want to guarantee you might be working with an legal professional who will take heed to your frustrations along with serving to you refocus your perspective onto what’s in your long-term finest pursuits financially to make sure you make the very best selections on your future.

8. Forgetting that Emails, Textual content Messages and Data Can Be Tracked and Used In opposition to You:

Whereas divorce proceedings can definitely trigger intense arguments together with your partner that embody emotions of frustration and rage, it’s best to by no means ship your partner any emails, textual content messages or recordings while you’re within the warmth of the second.

Something you set in writing can be utilized towards you in court docket, even in case you later apologize for the message. For instance, threatening your partner that he won’t ever see his kids once more could be despatched by your partner to their legal professional and used towards you in court docket to point out that you’re not involved in facilitating a relationship together with your partner and your kids, and will have an effect on any custody willpower (now known as parenting time and resolution making). In the event you really feel the necessity to vent your frustrations it’s best to achieve this to a 3rd get together.

9. Evaluating Your Divorce Case to Your Buddy’s or Co-Employee’s Divorces:

All divorce circumstances are totally different and the outcomes rely upon many case-specific components. Whereas it’s regular to speak about your divorce case with your pals and even at occasions your co-workers, it’s best to by no means take authorized recommendation from anybody who will not be an legal professional, and it’s best to particularly by no means evaluate your divorce case to theirs.



Whereas many individuals turn out to be aware of the divorce course of by way of going by way of a divorce themselves, they solely perceive the divorce course of by way of a really slender lens primarily based on the precise components of their case, together with how a lot cash they and their partner earn, whether or not minor children are involved, whether or not they personal funding accounts, whether or not they personal actual property property, and the record goes on and on. In the event you ever have a query or concern primarily based on data you hear from a 3rd get together, it’s best to all the time converse together with your legal professional, and may by no means make any selections primarily based on another person’s divorce case.

10. Believing Solely your Mates and Household Can See Your Social Media Accounts:

In case you are going by way of a divorce continuing it’s best to suppose twice earlier than posting something to Fb, Twitter, Instagram or every other social media website. Most attorneys, together with your partner’s legal professional, use “digital discovery” to entry data out of your social media websites to help their shopper of their divorce case.

You shouldn’t publish any direct or oblique disparaging remarks about your partner, publish any pictures exhibiting you with a brand new important different, or publish any pictures or feedback that would painting you as a negligent mum or dad, resembling exhibiting drug or alcohol use. Something you set in writing or any picture you publish to the general public can be utilized towards you. In the event you ever have a query or concern about any content material you want to publish, it’s best to ask your legal professional first previous to posting it.


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Tiffany M. Hughes is a divorce legal professional and Managing Companion of The Law office of Tiffany M. Hughes. Awarded as a High 100 in Attorneys Journal in 2018 and 2019, Hughes represents people in all points of household and matrimonial regulation proceedings, together with litigation, mediation, allocation of parental accountability (previously referred to as custody), parentage, divorce and different child-related issues.


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